Tired After Eating

Remember my post about being So Tired After Eating?

Well I am off all my meds right now. The agency that helps me get free medicine screwed up and my delivery is late.

Anyway, now that I am off the meds I no longer get tired and actually feel full after eating a small meal.

When I do get my meds back I am only going to do one at a time for a few days and see if I can figure out which one is causing the problem. If I can’t find one then maybe I’ll try them two at a time.

Hopefully I can figure out the culprit.

Is sure is nice being back to normal.

Bathroom Hi-jinx

Every time I go to hike my foot to the edge of the tub to wash my ass and I ‘lean’ against the wall, I laugh out loud.

How many years did I try to balance myself when I really did not have to.

So funny.

My First Bailout

I remember my first bailout – I was at a Boy Scout camp and tipped the canoe over. I was scared to death of the water at the time but had a life jacket.

I got the canoe righted and somehow managed to get back in. I used my hat to bail it out and started paddling. I tipped it again except this time my life jacket strap broke when I tried to put the paddle under them to hold it to my chest.

I was in twelve feet of death but I learned that I could float on my back with my mouth and nose right above the water.

The lifeguard started to come after me but noticed I would kick every so often. I thought it was pretty cool.

I had to upright the canoe four times that morning. The last time was four feet from the dock.

To earn my merit badge I had to dock the canoe. I was so tired I floated for a while. The lifeguard and I held a conversation for about fifteen minutes while I floated near the dock.

Once I safely docked he tried but could not float for more then 2 or 3 minutes before he neck got tired.

I can still do it to this day. After my heart attack I went to two therapy sessions – the first was walking – no big deal.

The second was water exercise. I had an asthma attack and could not stand. I went to my back and floated. After ten minutes I was able to use my hands and make it to the side.

No one came to help me just told me to get back on my feet. I never went back but at least I know I can still float on my back.

The worse bailout, besides the one the congress is trying to put together, was the time your mother decided to tie my jet boat to the dock in rough water while I went to get the trailer.

She tied the boat to the dock but only gave it about a foot of spare rope. When I got back with the trailer, my beautiful jet boat was floating just under the water completely filled with water.

I still miss that boat.

My First Kiss

I was in junior high I am sure it was the seventh grade. There was a cute brunette that I had a crush on. She liked talking to me she said and once we took a walk when school got out at noon and she held my hand all the way to the lake, about five miles away.

But first we stopped at her house so she could change into nicer clothes. Our first date was impromptu. As with most homes, nobody inside when parents were not home so I sat on the porch steps.

Her mother came home and invited me in. Her daughter heard her mom’s voice and came running in before her top was all the way on. I saw boobies – briefly. She was very embarrassed and her mother cautioned her to be careful.

We walked to the lake, had lunch, took a boat ride with a friend of mine then walked through the woods on the way back home.

We stopped at a bench and talked and she asked if they looked ok. I ask what and she said her knockers (this was many years ago).

I said I barely saw them so she pulled up her top. WOW! I told her they looked great, especially in that top. She turned the top inside out and showed me the falsies her mother had sewn in. They added about three cups sizes.

But they still looked good for my first real set. Then she surprised me and said show me yours. I told her she had not shown me all of hers so she stood up, pulled her panties off and handed them to me and then sat down, spread her legs, took a deep breath and lifted her skirt.

I stood up and showed her mine before I lost my nerve. She leaned forwarded, all of her assets in view and touched me.

It never dawned on me to touch her. You know what happened next and she asked if it always did that. I told her if I was looking at pictures and evidently, when I saw the real thing.

She giggled then said it was so soft as she rubbed me. I never touched her but did ask where it went. She spread her legs and pointed. It was so pretty. But I still never considered touching her.

Then we heard something and she quickly pulled her top and skirt down. I pulled my shorts up and handed her panties to her – she said hide them so I stuck them in my back pocket.

A couple of minutes later an older couple walked by and we all smiled and said hello.

After they were gone she told me that was exciting, grabbed my hand and we walked home talking about many things.

Two weeks later I got an invitation to her birthday party. There were at least twenty people there and she dragged me along to talk to everyone never letting go of my hand.

I liked it. Then we started playing games and the winners choose someone to go into a back room with them.

She picked me and that is when I got my first kiss. Then my second and third. The fourth through the hundredth were long, wet and exciting.

She told me I was the first to kiss and see her. I told her she was my first too.

Her parents came down to check on us and said the party ended in thirty minutes. We all danced except her and I danced in a dark hallway and kissed the entire time.

I was walking home and she asked to walk me as far as the store. We walked for a bit then she pulled me into a side yard that could not be seen from the street but still had plenty of light. She kissed me then lifted her top. She wondered if they had grown.

I told her a little. She kissed me then asked if I still liked them but before I could respond she said never mind and checked for herself.

She rubbed me and told me she could tell I liked that then we continued our walk to the story not saying a thing.

She put her arms around my neck and kissed me long and hard then pressed her pelvis against me and commented that I must really like to kiss her.

She moved her hand for another check and squeezed it. Then kissed me and told me sweet dreams.

And that was my first kiss. More about her later.

Man Made Floods - Senior Moment # 99889

Most mornings I fill my coffee cup (or should I call it my tea cup) to make tea and put it in the microwave. I get the teabag ready then sort my dirty dishes and fill the sink with hot water, soap and the dishes.

If my timing is right I get my hot water hot and immerse the tea bag and bob it for a few seconds add the sugar or substitute and then turn the water off since the sink is half full.

This morning I went into the living room and turned in the computer and TV.

I took a couple of sips burning my mouth as usual (I do not know why I can not remember to shorten the heat time by 10 seconds but I never do) and felt like I had forgotten something.

I learned a long time ago to make a tour of the rooms looking for something out of place.

I always move from front to back which means the kitchen is last. I noticed I left the radio and fan on in the bathroom so I turned them off.

When I got to the kitchen the suds had reached the faucet – about six inches above the top of the sink. I turned the water off and moved the subs aside – I had come ¼ inch from flooding the sink cabinet and probably the floor and the room underneath.

That’s a first in all my years but makes me worry about other stupid things yet to come.

The Great Debate of 2008 #1

I tried to watch the presidential debate tonight. If I had to pick a president based on looks I’d choose Obama. He just looks presidential.

I said I tried to watch – I was at my desk, had my word processor open to make notes and I’ll be damn if I did not fall asleep as soon as McCain stared talking – it’s as if I have heard it all before – from Bush.

I would usually come back alive right at the end of Obama’s rhetoric. So I really did not hear what either of them said.

I finally gave up and went to bed with the radio playing the debate. I must have fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I woke up at the end, 9:32 exactly. I missed the whole thing.

So who won? I would guess Obama will get the highest score. I just cheated and checked CNN.com poll: Obama 67%, McCain 27%, neither 6% - 75000+ voting.

So what do I think? I think we ought to give Iraq sixty days to get there shit together and we leave – then all troops in Iraq should go to Afghanistan and clean that country up and find the 911 asshole and poison all the poppy fields.

Then we bring everyone home and drop a couple of nukes on Iran cutting them off from the rest of the world and warn all other fanatic nations that not following the mantra ‘treat all others as you would like to be treated’ would also be bombed and cut off from the world.

Give China about sixty days to get their heads out of their asses and then shut them down.

We have the power and the know how. Just as long as we keep the ‘Wall Street Brains’ from the reins of power –we’ll be fine.

Best T-Shirts

I was watching something and saw a stupid T-Shirt. My friends always made fun of a Bart Simpson T-shirt I wore – I can’t remember what it said – but back to my point.

One of the best T-Shirts I ever saw said “I Swallow” printed on the top of a nice set of boobs. The T-Shirt was so short, the bottom of the boobs could be seen.

My next favorite T-Shirt:

W I F E
Washing
Ironing
Fucking
Etc.

I laughed at that one a long time.

And my next favorite saying – a pair of panties that said, “If you can read this it is your luck day.” I never took them off the girl.

Cubs Makes History

First back to back division champions since 1907-1908 - now as long as they don't fuck up the post season.

Maybe they Will win a World Series before I die.

Go CUBS !!

Peanut Butter Fudge and loose change

Getting back to why I start this blog. I am getting pretty good at typing and editing with the narrator.

Here is a memory and story.

I was older then 5 and probably younger then seven when me and my oldest brother came home from school. Many days Mom would have some kind of snack for us – I remember cookies and candy but the BEST snack was peanut butter fudge.

We each got a small piece and about twenty minutes later we got another one but no more – didn’t want to ruin our supper.

On this particular day Mom left the dish on a table in the living room. When it came time for the second piece Mom walked into the room and I was ‘caught’ moving a small piece under whatever was covering it so that I would not get stuck with it.

Mom swore I had eaten a piece and would not give me another. I was heart broken. I loved peanut butter fudge.

I didn’t get one after supper either. I was so hurt – I never mentioned this to anyone but I always tried to keep myself out of situations that might lead to other accusations but I guess it made me seem sneaky or guilty.

I also stayed away from snacks for a while – I didn’t want to be accused of stealing or lying.

I remember being envious because my siblings could do things and they were never accused of lying or stealing.

I got $10 for my birthday from someone – might have been my parents. I stashed it in a band-aid box in my room.

That box was my piggy bank – all the pennies, dimes, nickels, a few quarters and a ‘real’ silver dollar my grandpa gave me and the $10 bill.

One afternoon Mom had fudge sitting out and I got home first while she was out back hanging clothes on the line.

I got a drink and set at the end of the table nearest the fudge dish.

My brother and Mom came in at the same time and Mom noticed crumbs on the table in front of me.

They were not mine but I didn’t get any fudge, again. I remembered a few days back that I wanted a candy bar at the dime store. Dad asked if I had any money with me. No, it was all in my box back home.

I didn’t get the candy bar but I did have $10 in my box upstairs and I wanted a snack.

So I got my $10 and walked the three blocks to the dime store. And I bought a great big candy bar that had chocolate covered peanut butter and maybe caramel. I think it cost a nickel. I am not sure if what the name was.

It was better then any damn cookie and almost as good as peanut butter fudge.

I hated using change to pay for things. Over the next few days I turned that $10 into 8 or 9 dollars of change. It filled the band-aid box.

I would gather a dollar in change, go to a local market and change it to a dollar then walk to the dime store to get my candy bar.

Why didn’t I buy the candy bar at the market? I was afraid someone would see me I guess. I really don’t know, it just seemed I could not do both tasks in one place; getting paper money and buying a candy bar with it getting 95 cents back in change.

Things kids do.

Kids my ass, I continued this practice for years. One day I emptied the glove box and center console of the old piece of shit I drove and had over a hundred dollars in change. I also turned in all the jars of coins I had to the bank. They called me four days later to tell me my money was ready.

$700+ in change over just a few years. Right now I have a cool whip plastic container full of change – mostly pennies and nickels – my son has stolen most of the others.

Why am/was I this way?

I remember being with my grandpa when he was buying some smokes and beer and he was counting out pennies and nickels to pay for them.

The people behind us in line were not nice and made comments and gave us looks. The grocer told grandpa to bring the rest in later – he had too many people in line.

Someone snickered and someone else wanted credit too. Grandpa didn’t seem to care and I probably should not of either. He could not wait to get outside to get his cig lit and crack open a beer.

I think we were 3 doors from his apartment and we sat on a step for a bit while many of the people walked by shaking their heads or frowning. I was ashamed.

For many years I always paid with the largest bill I had and NEVER used loose change.

And I always made sure my check was partially made out or I had the cash out when I hit the checkout.

I hate people who stand watching the checker slide their purchases across the scanner and when the checker tells them the total they open their purse or feel their pants pocket looking for their money or checkbook acting surprised they have to pay.

What a waste of time.

So that’s how I developed my addiction to candy bars, addiction to hoarding change and making sure I did not get in compromising situations.

Senior Moment 324323 – The Shower

For most of my adult life (since I was 18 and we moved to this forsaken town and our first home shower) I have balanced myself while in the shower on one leg while lifting the other leg up and resting my toes on the bathtub edge to wash my leg and other parts – if you get my drift.

I always did the left side first then the right side.

I almost always had a ‘soft’ shower curtain on one side and sometimes I had a soft curtain that surrounded me. Once a long time ago, a friend’s shower had a glass sliding door for a shower door and I leaned on it while moving my foot/leg up.

The glass door was not fastened and it fell. Luckily nothing broke.

From them on I was always careful NOT to lean on things to get my foot/leg up.

Then I got thirty-day contact lenses – I loved them BUT - if I opened my eyes during a shower the contact would come out and be impossible to find.

I got very good at taking a shower with my eyes closed. I also got very good at balancing on one leg while I ‘found’ the top edge opposite the drain of the tub with the toes of the other leg. Sometimes I would be too close or too far away and would have to adjust my other foot and try again.

I have lived here for the last five years. I have a large claw foot tub – right next to the wall. I installed plumbing for a shower head and a metal frame for the show curtains to hang from. I am surrounded by shower curtains.

Even though I do not wear contacts anymore, I still shower with my eyes closed. I still balance myself on one leg/foot to lift my other to the end of the tub to wash ‘those’ parts.

Ever since my heart surgery, my balance is questionable. There is a reason but I forget what they call it.

It can take several tries before I feel steady enough to lift my foot. This morning I lifted my foot, got light headed and started to fall.

I hit the shower curtain and figured I’d need someone to help me fix things. I was hoping I didn’t break any bones when I fell.

I was bracing for the worse when I just stopped. Huh? I was leaning against the wall two inches outside the inside shower curtain.

I practiced leaning against the wall with my shoulder while I lifted my leg. You have no idea the freedom I felt. I practiced several times while laughing at myself.

I may just have to wash ‘those’ parts four or five times a day now.

Good Laugh - Lonely Hearts Link

Go check out this list of funnies - it will make your day: Lonely Hearts

Zoning - Suggestions In Hurricane Areas

Can an engineer determine if an area is low and subject to a hurricane surge or flooding?

Can they build electric lines or utilites below ground that can not be knocked down by wind, cars or idiots?

An idiot could do both so why do hurricane prone areas still allow electric and other utilities above ground. And why do cities allow people to build homes in surge areas or flood plains.

These areas should be parks and playgrounds – worst damage after a hurricane should be hooking the swings back up or the slides need to be cleaned and polished.

The parking lots might need a street cleaner to make a pass or a few park rangers might have to pick up some branches.

When will someone get their head out of their ass?

I also think we should find all people who failed to evacuate and if they are still alive and were able to leave, shoot them where they stand and let them rot – ignorant assholes.

If people want to live on the beach, they can rent a fucking room for a week at a time. That income can be put in an account to provide upkeep for the park or rooms. Simple.

3-Ply Goodness

I just read that researches in Wis have invented a 3-ply toilet paper. See HERE.

I beg to differ but when I was young I invented 6 or 9-ply paper. When my finger went through the single-ply cheap ass paper my dad use to buy, I would wrap 6 or 7 or more layers around my hand and then wipe my ass – my finger never went through the paper again.

A couple of times I did have to plunge the toilet to get it to flush but it was better then wiping my ass with my bare finger.

Favorite Chair

My daughter brought my grandson by for a visit the other day. I guess she could not find anyone else home - and I am not sure if I am kidding or not.

It was a pleasant surprise but immediately after she left I sat back down in my favorite chair - my office/computer chair - just over 12 years old - used 16-18 hours daily almost every day for those 12 years. It had followed me for 6 moves and even survived a three day exile to the basement when my ex-wife tried to get rid of it.

When I sat down, something snapped and the chair started dropping to the floor and leaning to the right. I slid off to the right to my right knee. My arm ended up on top of my printer - luckily I was able to press that hand to the wall and hold my weight off the printer.

I was stuck there for about ten minutes while trying stand up without using the printer or broken chair as a crutch. It is a bitch when your body does not work right anymore.

My daughter went to the store for me today - she took the base of the chair to her husband to see if he can weld the part that broke.

I must say I miss it much - I sure hope I get it back.

Home Remedy Eye Update

Nobody has told me putting hot water on my eyes is dangerous. I found hot/cold packs for eye therapy online but so far I have not found "why" I would want to do either hot or cold.

Home Remedies

I've always stayed away from home remedies but tonight my left eye was really hurting and nothing was helping, even the high priced narcotics were ineffective.

I remembered once when I had pink eye (have no idea how I got that) I would put a very hot washcloth on my eyelid - very hot - too hot to hold my finger under. I have several hot pads that have a pocket for your hand.

I stuff the pocket with ice, run the super hot water over the one side and have a nice cool other side to hold the contraption to my eyelid.

It felt great - so great I did my right eye and to my surprise when I changed back to my left key I could see objects with my right eye. I could actually see some detail, not much but more then I have for months.

But best of all the pain in my left eye is gone - completely gone. I heated my right eye several more times - it seemed to get better and better but finally stayed the same.

I think I could see well enough to shave.

The first thing I did was sort my canned goods and marked them. Remember those three by three by one inch packages I found during my cleaning? Pudding - guess what I'm having for dessert tomorrow. Then I checked out the football game on TV and sort of watched the news.

I was able to read a few emails from weeks ago using the highest magnification of the magnifier program. Slow process but it felt good to almost be independent again.

I'm going to attempt to look up heat on eye to see if I can read it and find anything on the subject. Hard to call anyone at 245 in the morning.

Been Getting Busy - Warning Long Post

If you thought dirty thoughts when you read the title, shame on you.

Not really. But the title is sort of accurate.

Wednesday I woke up and could not find my sunglasses - they don't do any good except knock down the glare.

I decided I was missing many things, like my video camera and a pack of batteries for the digital camera.

I set things down to be put away later when I 'saw' them the next time. Can't do that anymore because I can't see them later.

Anyway it had been a while (yeah right - a year?) since I had thoroughly cleaned anything so I decided I could try - it's not like the kids run over every week to do it for me – did you ever? I must be a clean neat person. Stop laughing.

I decided the bathroom was the first stop. I am pretty sure the ring around the tub is gone and the shower curtains are different colors now but I bet it's all clean. Only took 1.5 cans of comet (is that right?).

Then I did the bedroom since it is pretty sparse except for all the pictures. Why do I hang family pictures in the bedroom? Beside the obvious I can't see them. I sleep in there with the lights out.

I'll bet the lights were not on in that room for a year before I lost my sight. Years ago I hung 'good posters' on the walls and even the ceiling - but they were definitely not family nor for family. I digress.

In the bedroom I found my sunglasses – must’ve worn them to bed. I also found a remote I lost months ago and talked the cable company into replacing.

Next the living room saving the kitchen for last since I figured it would be the hardest.

In the living room I found lots of cool things that at first I could not identify. I usually eat in front of the computer. I found a hard (at one time soft) roll that I thought I had eaten but instead knocked off.

I found lots of pieces of I am sure were popcorn and maybe M&Ms or raisins or something (mice?) – I didn’t want to vacuum until I checked the whole floor because who knows what I might have dropped.

I found a syringe, and a box of alcohol wipes I must knocked off and couldn’t find. I also found a bunch of square things I could not identify. Several just out of reach of my feet under the desk.

I also found a remote that I did not know I lost and cannot figure out what the hell it is for.

After I identified everything I could and put most things out of the way I vacuumed but within the first three feet I heard metal things bouncing their way into the bag.

I decide it would be best to use my shopvac so that I could more easily shift through whatever I sucked up.

I always wondered why they sold wide carpet nozzles for shopvacs – now I know – but I never bought one.

Do you have any idea how long it takes to vacuum a 10 by 20 room with a four inch nozzle? At least I had extensions and didn’t have to crawl around on my hands and knees.

(I remember buying those – there were two choices – a bag of extensions or a bag of extensions with a floor nozzle for $2 more – dummy me).

Luckily I remembered to empty the tank before I started and when I searched through the debris I found a bunch of little metal balls. I have no idea.

I left the kitchen for Thursday. I only have two things I could not identify. Small boxes about 3” wide and tall and an inch thick. I have about six of them. They were in a cabinet I very seldom use now.

I did find my favorite coffee cup and I am glad I could not ‘see’ what was at the bottom. I also found my video camera on the shelf above the trash can. How lucky am I that it didn’t get knocked into the trash.

I found three packages of batteries in the ‘big utensil” drawer and I found another pair of what must be sunglasses because the also block the light.

The only unusual things I found on the floor were popcorn and a mouse trap I had forgot about. Luckily it was empty.

My George Foreman grill was really greasy on the bottom so I sank it in a sink full of extremely hot water. Something told me this might not have been a good move but I washed it when the water cooled down and all surfaces feel ‘squeaky clean’.

I put it in the oven at somewhere between 100 and 200 degrees and left it for four hours (I forgot to set a timer and felt the heat when I walked by). I closed my eyes (pun intended) and plugged it in.

It got warm so I cooked a burger – it had a funny taste – might have been I didn’t get all the soap off or I ruined the finish.

I cleaned it with wet paper towels then put veggie oil on it to cure it. The 2nd burger tasted great.

Remember those keys I lost last summer? Found them – under the kitchen table near the wall. Remember that picture frame I dropped and the glass broke? Found it under some paper bags in the corner of the counter top.

Remember the lottery tickets I bought at Christmas but lost? Found them right where I put them so I would not forget. Can’t tell you if I’ve won anything.

But at least I got back one thing – a little pride. I can go shoeless around the place once again.

Pepper

Does the mouth take time ascertaining that it has encountered popper? In other words, is there a delay recognizing pepper?

I ask because you know I am 9/10s blind. I can't see if I have peppered my food. Since I quit using salt after my first heart attack, i probably use more pepper than others. But I have noticed I can not tell how much pepper I have sprinkled on my food until I have exceeded what I like.

I need to go back to using my grinder - three turns and I was set. My eggs this morning tasted like peppered steak. Maybe I screwed up and used pepper cheese. No, if i did that stuff would have been so old.